If only politicians were more like celebs

Earlier this week I was shocked to find that one of my friends didn't know that the presidential debates were taking place at FAU. Okay maybe I wasn't totally shocked, I don't exactly hang out with geniuses.

I kept thinking to myself- how the crap do you miss that story? That's like missing Iraq or 9/11. Its one thing to walk through the breezeway and hallways with tunnel vision, completely ignoring every roommate wanted flier and upcoming event banner in a two-mile radius. But its another thing to just totally miss one of the biggest events to hit FAU.

I assumed that my friend was either an alien in disguise and just flew in from Uranus that morning, or had a severely below average IQ.

But I was shocked when she later chimed into the conversation, "Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend is pregnant- I read it this morning."

So my friend can read, and she's somewhat interested in current events, but didn't even know the presidential debates were coming to FAU. This seems like a common problem with college students, we care more about celebrities than politicians.

THE STATS

1)American Idol gets more people to vote than presidential elections.

2)Perez Hilton claims to get four million hits a day, and he only writes about celebrity gossip. The average college student can tell you the name of all the Spears children, including ones to come, but if you ask them where Barack Obama stands on global warming, you'll get a blank stare.

3)College students are more interested in downloading pictures of Britney Spears flashing her "VaJJ" than taking the time to read a presidential candidate's Web site.

THE PROBLEM

Political candidates and government officials never come down to our level. And by our level, I mean the human level. When Hillary Clinton sheds a tear and Obama dances on Ellen, their approval ratings go through the roof. Its because people feel like they can relate to them. They finally seem human.

THE SOLUTION

Political candidates need to find a way to appeal to us. Maybe they should recruit MTV or Absolut vodka advertising executives, since those people make millions of dollars every year off of our age group.

TOP FIVE QUICK FIXES FOR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES

5) Hillary Clinton should get a DUI and go to rehab, and then people will listen to her.

4)Barack Obama should date Lindsay Lohan and have an illegitimate child, and then we'd listen to him.

3)By all means every political candidate should have a sex tape leaked onto the Internet. If they did that you could guarantee college students worldwide would know who they were voting for.

2)Get into a million dollar custody battle with your ex husband/wife.

1)The ultimate quick fix for every candidate;get a reality TV show. They can call it behind the campaign, everyone would watch. Especially college kids who eat up painfully mindless reality shows.

Maybe it's a bit too risky for Hillary Clinton to be flashing her private parts and for Rudy Giuliani to be suing his baby's mama for custody. But let's face it-these candidates need to do something, there are robots in Disney world that are more lifelike than them.

We devour reality shows and train wreck celebrities because we feel a connection to the people or characters in them. They eat McDonald's, get drunk, and pee in the living room. We can laugh at them because we can relate to them. The Presidential candidates know that they must relate to us, they just don't have any clue how to go about it.