What our bodies tell people

We live in a society where most of our human communication takes place over the internet and through phone calls. We’ve physically isolated ourselves, and this can make dating a challenge. It’s amazing how much we say with our body language, and knowing the signs can make all the difference in the dating world.

Albert Mehrabian, a researcher of body language in the 1950's, found that the total impact of a message is about seven percent verbal, 38 percent vocal and 55 percent nonverbal. This means that what we say isn’t as important as what our body says.

If you’re chatting up with a cute guy at a party and you’re wondering if he's really into you, there are several signals to look for.

According to Tracy Cox, author of Super Flirt, if someone is just being polite, they’ll take the first opportunity to end the conversation. Give them an excuse to leave and see if they take it. Say you’re going into the next room to help the host or to get a drink. If the guy follows you, it’s safe to say you have an admirer. If he takes the opportunity to bolt, don’t worry; just move on to the next guy.

If you see a guy from across the room and you’re not sure if you want to approach him, there are signals for that also. Cox says when a man is interested in a woman who may be approaching him, he might try to “spruce himself up a bit” - meaning tucking in his tummy and sticking out his chest. If he doesn’t want to be approached, he’ll deter you by sending blocker signals, which means he could literally try to block you by standing behind a couch or group of people.

If you’re chatting with a guy and still aren’t sure if he finds you attractive, just take a look at where his hands are. If his hand are in his pockets, pointing down, Cox explains this is a sure sign of sexual interest. If he’s interested in you, he might also adjust his tie or try to fix his hair.

This one may seem obvious even if you’re not a body language expert, but if a guy places his hand on your lower back while talking or walking with you, he’s not only showing a sign of interest, he’s announcing to everyone in the room "back off she’s mine."

One of the more difficult signs to watch for is the pupil dilatation. Psychology experts agree that our pupils dilate when we’re exposed to visual stimulation that we like. It seems simple, but it’s true. If his pupils dilate when he sees you, he's attracted to you. I tested this one out myself one night when I handed my boyfriend a Victoria’s Secret catalog and asked him which set of bras he liked best. Sure enough, within seconds his pupils were fully dilated. However, this can be a tricky thing to notice; you might scare a guy off if he catches you intensely staring at his eye. Be careful!